The First "Red Flag" In The Relationship
Almost two months have passed since my first post due to stress and feelings of hopelessness. My life is such that it's like I'm constantly fighting a never-ending battle against poverty, routine, and intrusion. Well, maybe not constantly, but it's like: for a few months I'm up; a few months later, I'm distressed. I'm down and struggling. I'm not sure how it happens - or why it happens, but bad karma seems to follow me wherever I go. I try to live right, contribute to society, give back, but the roads and situations in my life are rarely ever "smooth sailing". There's always drama or a dark cloud following me...
But, anyway... The hell with it.
Let me go back to that first post and talk about what I felt was the "turning point" in my relationship.
So, I met this chick. We clicked on most levels and everything was cool between us. We had great conversations. We had a lot of things in common. We liked a lot of the same things and disliked a lot of the same things. There was no power-struggle between us. I valued her opinion and appreciated her ability to make certain things happen. She was smart. But... She constantly placed demands on me. She ALWAYS wanted me to do SOMEthing. Always. Everyday it was something. Something that had to be fixed, replaced, bought, acquired, or ADDED to our lives. We NEED this. We NEED that. We NEED to do this. We NEED to do that. I'm like: damn... what the hell.
Now, I'm not a complacent person. I believe in making moves and trying to improve my status in life, but NONE of these things she asked of me were going to benefit us in anyway whatsoever. She just always had SOMEthing going on. Just constantly piling crap onto my plate. This is the same kind of shit that happens to me at work five days a week. So, it was like there was no relief and no time to "detox" from all of the demands people were putting on me.
Even with her being around, I was on edge and anxious, because I thought she was going to approach me with some new BS that I didn't want to hear about or be involved in.
This feeling of anxiousness - this anxiety - eventually found its way into our "playpen" where we were making sweet potato pies...
Well, right in the middle of making sweet potato pies, we both lost enthusiasm. We just stopped.
There were no pies flippin'. No spices being sprinkled. No mixin' and minglin'... The fire was completely out.
I didn't have the slightest taste for pie. And, she wasn't waiting on the whipped cream. We were done.
I think we both were glad it was over and relieved that neither of us wanted more.
Now, as a disclaimer, I must say that the majority of these pie-cooking sessions usually last at least two hours. Often, they last three or four hours or more. And, we were cooking pies often. But, this event was a sign that we had been cooking pies a little too often, and that it was starting to get demanding - and boring - just like the other interactions and demands in my life. So, my mind and heart just wasn't into it. And, I could see more events like this on the horizon.
Of course, I started to worry about it, because we got along so well. But, I prepared for the worst because I could see the writing on the wall. It was just a matter of time before things would fall apart.
But, anyway... The hell with it.
Let me go back to that first post and talk about what I felt was the "turning point" in my relationship.
So, I met this chick. We clicked on most levels and everything was cool between us. We had great conversations. We had a lot of things in common. We liked a lot of the same things and disliked a lot of the same things. There was no power-struggle between us. I valued her opinion and appreciated her ability to make certain things happen. She was smart. But... She constantly placed demands on me. She ALWAYS wanted me to do SOMEthing. Always. Everyday it was something. Something that had to be fixed, replaced, bought, acquired, or ADDED to our lives. We NEED this. We NEED that. We NEED to do this. We NEED to do that. I'm like: damn... what the hell.
Now, I'm not a complacent person. I believe in making moves and trying to improve my status in life, but NONE of these things she asked of me were going to benefit us in anyway whatsoever. She just always had SOMEthing going on. Just constantly piling crap onto my plate. This is the same kind of shit that happens to me at work five days a week. So, it was like there was no relief and no time to "detox" from all of the demands people were putting on me.
Even with her being around, I was on edge and anxious, because I thought she was going to approach me with some new BS that I didn't want to hear about or be involved in.
This feeling of anxiousness - this anxiety - eventually found its way into our "playpen" where we were making sweet potato pies...
Well, right in the middle of making sweet potato pies, we both lost enthusiasm. We just stopped.
There were no pies flippin'. No spices being sprinkled. No mixin' and minglin'... The fire was completely out.
I didn't have the slightest taste for pie. And, she wasn't waiting on the whipped cream. We were done.
I think we both were glad it was over and relieved that neither of us wanted more.
Now, as a disclaimer, I must say that the majority of these pie-cooking sessions usually last at least two hours. Often, they last three or four hours or more. And, we were cooking pies often. But, this event was a sign that we had been cooking pies a little too often, and that it was starting to get demanding - and boring - just like the other interactions and demands in my life. So, my mind and heart just wasn't into it. And, I could see more events like this on the horizon.
Of course, I started to worry about it, because we got along so well. But, I prepared for the worst because I could see the writing on the wall. It was just a matter of time before things would fall apart.
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